If you have any Filipina experience whatsoever, you undoubtedly know about their hopeless confusion between the letters “P” and “F”. It’s unbelievably cute when they mix them up, but belly-achingly hysterical at the same time. They’ll just never get it right (no matter how many foreigners they hook up with). Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard: “Oooh yah, Puck my Foosy babeh!” I can’t get enough of that shit….it fucking kills me…even after all these years, lol.

It’s a funny thing about this place. Even in a family park in broad daylight there are freelancers prancing about looking to hock their wares. Sluttin’ knows no boundaries around here, that’s for sure, and our good pal Jonas would end up benefiting from this sordid local habitude. If you’re any kind of respectable monger and you see what he saw strutting across the grass in front of you, you throw all caution to the wind and go after it. This dainty, slinky thing in short shorts was parading her little ass through the park and just begging to be picked up.

There’s an old saying that goes “It takes a village…”, and well, it’s no different here on The World’s most infamous Filipina mongering site. We are fortunate here to have an entire squadron of rump-raiding rapscallions riding through the mean Philippines’ streets to search and destroy as many prime pieces of Pinay poonanny as possible. This week is another great example of the solid depth this nefarious team possesses when Mr. X slithers out from underneath the slimy shadows to grace our eyes with an exceptional body of his latest work.

For any sort of experienced PI monger, hearing that unmistakable melody of a Filipino ice-cream cart should immediately alert your puki-poaching radar. If there’s one thing most LBFM’s love, it’s sweets, and nothing is better on a typical hot Philippine afternoon than a nice cold popsicle or ice cream cone. So if you follow the sound of that pedi-cab driven dessert-mobile, you are almost always sure to find a worthy cock-candidate or two close behind.

Here’s another little piece of mongering info some of our newcomers might not know yet: If you’re in the Philippines and you’re in earshot of trike motors, it usually means there’s pussy nearby too. Not unlike last week with the ice-cream cart music, that tricycle sound let’s you know be on the lookout for LBFMs disembarking from a sputtering jerry-rigged sidecar. Jonas is none too new at this game so he knew the perfect spot to find such prey; at the parking lot near the mall.

Now, compared to the rest of Asia, the Filipinos speak the best English far and away. I mean, it’s really not even close. That is part of the big reason mongers love the place so much. The ability to actually relate and speak with the girls is huge. Especially if you’re used to places like Thailand and others where the non-sexual interaction leaves a lot to be desired. That said, don’t get fooled into thinking you’re going to hear a dissertation on quantum physics from one of your Filipina lady-friends anytime soon.

You know you’re on a tourist beach in a 3rd world country when you can’t walk more than 20 yards without relentless touts trying to sell all kinds of worthless crap to you. Well, that and the unkempt sand, filthy stray dogs, rickety wooden pontoon boats and scammy jetski rentals. So, this is paradise, huh? But then, just then, you realize what brought you here. Because you also can’t go more than 20 yards without a lovely brown-skinned LBFM crossing your path, and high praise to the Mongering Gods for that!

Snuggled together on the sofa, Filipino Amy and her boyfriend Jasper giggle together as they watch a recent home movie. Wriggling together on the sofa their eye's lock and a shared sexual need takes over. Clothing is tugged out of the way revealing Amy's large nipples as they excite each others bodies. Amy pulls her boyfriends lips from her moist labia and kisses him, savoring her own taste as it fills her mouth. Returning the favor she lets her tongue glide up and down the shaft of Jasper's erection... ' I love it!'

The bars and the girls. Those two things are really why we all come, aren’t they? There’s not much else in this seedy little town that would attract anyone to visit for any other reason. The fact that you can find yourself in a bar at almost any hour of the day, enjoying the close company of a warm inviting LBFM is really what vacationing here is all about.

Sometimes the best laid plans don’t always go as swimmingly as first expected. But no matter, because when you’re in the Philippines, you’ll still probably end up getting laid. Jonas had this nice idea of a long weekend getaway to the beach to get out of the city and away from the pollution and crowds for a while. Hopefully, to enjoy some nice sunny seaside weather and find himself a sweet young piece of pookie to punch out on camera for the rest of us.